I hate VI. Not the roman numeral. I've got no problem with V + I = VI, or even MCLXXII / XVII = ...umm, wait a minute...that's 1172 divided by 17 equals...ummm, well, the romans didn't seem to know how to deal with decimals...well...uh...okay, maybe I do have a problem with roman numeral VI, but it pales in comparison to my disdain for the standard Unix text editor, "vi".
For those of you who don't know what Unix is, it's a computer operating system used by many mainframes and minicomputers. It's used on most of the big computers which make up the internet. It's very powerful and extendable, and as such enjoys a wide popularity in the computer biz. It's full of commands like "ls", "man", "cp", and "rm" (equivalents in DOS: "dir", "help", "copy", and "del") which are designed for the absolute number of keystrokes required, and are therefore impossible to remember, but that's another "I Hate..." page.
Back to vi...Those of you out there who work in Unix will be well acquainted with this little gem of a program. Now, I worked in Unix briefly in college, so I know the vi commands, but I'm basically a Windows kind of guy. When I fire up my text editor I want to start typing right away. That's how text editors and word processors work. But does vi follow this philosophy? Noooooooo. If you just start typing after starting up vi, you don't know what's gonna happen, because it assumes you're typing commands for searching, deleting, replacing, and Bob knows what else, instead of what you want to do, which is to start typing. If you want to start typing stuff into your file, you have to type "i" first, unless you want to type "a". Of course upper or lower case "o" will work, too, but you're screwed if you type "99dd".
So, anyway, enough whining. I'll tell you how I deal with this problem. No, it's not as important on the scheme of problems as world hunger or a falling stock market, but I think you'll agree it's definitely above the latest scandal from Neverland Ranch or the revelation that Kathie Lee and Regis have been playing "Cleopatra and the Lusty Slave Boy" backstage for years. Well, maybe you won't, but I do.
I deal with this problem by using a Windows text editor. Now, not just any text editor will do, since Unix and DOS use different codes for the "ENTER" key. Luckily, I found an editor with a boatload o' nifty features, and it has built-in conversion routines between DOS and Unix files. And it's cheap! Dirt cheap, I tell you! So run, don't walk, to Helios Software Solutions and grab yourself a copy of TextPad. It's the coolest. You go now!
Even if you don't hate vi, but are looking for a better version of Windows Notepad, go now. You'll thank me later.
Of course, there are people who disagree with me about vi.
For all you Unix geeks who wish to point out that the title is, in fact, quite wrong because Unix is a case-sensitive language and therefore the program is vi, not VI, and therefore the title should be "Why I Hate vi", here's your punishment.